Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
