You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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