its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
zippers are such a cool invention
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
