We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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