It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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