i don't like sucking hair
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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