Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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