Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i think im in europe. pls send help
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
