return my video game
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
