I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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