at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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