Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
