My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
