I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
MIDGETS
????
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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