Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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