Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Let's paint friendship bongs
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
