I wanna passion pit in your ass
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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