in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
