DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
