theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
