If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
