You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
