Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
