I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
