He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
