Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i dont even know how to be here
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
