It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
