You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i out mim tonsoeep
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
