I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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