Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
