I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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