My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
