Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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