thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
