You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
