i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
