I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
