Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
