Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
