so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
