did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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