so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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