If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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