I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
