cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
