using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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