I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We named our party play list daddy issues
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
