Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
