Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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