We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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