normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
