The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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