his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
