We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
