From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
